RAP! RAP! RAP!
“This meeting of the Okefenokee Creatures Association will come to order. I am your chairperson Pogo the Possum. Please stand, crawl, hop or slither as you are able and recite the OCA pledge: ‘I pledge allegiance to the Okefenokee Swamp and the peat upon which it stands. One swamp, indivisible, with rivers and justice for all, except drag-miners. Amen!’”
“Today, I want to discuss the efforts by Twin Pines Minerals, an Alabama-based company whose headquarters are 385 miles from the Okefenokee to drag-mine some 600-acres on Trail Ridge, the eastern boundary of the swamp for titanium dioxide. Yes, Albert the Alligator, you have a question?”
“Yes, Mr. Chairperson. Even though I am one of the two extant species in the genus Alligator and a large crocodilian reptile native to the Southeastern United States, I am also a proud American. If mining titanium oxide will make us safe from foreign and domestic enemies, I strongly support the effort, even though it could ravage the swap and lower the water level for me and my fellow alligators!”
“Yeah! Here! Here! USA! USA!”
“Thank you, Albert. However, titanium dioxide is used primarily for paints, toothpaste whitener, face powder, and food coloring. While I claim no expertise in national security issues, I’m not sure any of these would make ours a safer place to live.”
“Boo! Boo! Hiss! Hiss!”
“I believe Howland Owl wishes to be recognized.”
“Thank you, Mr. Chairperson Possum. As the denizens of the Okefenokee are aware, I am the most learned creature in the swamp. Did you know that dust inhalation from titanium dioxide may cause breathing problems. Titanium dioxide has been classified by the International Agency for Research on Cancer as a Group 2B carcinogen, a ‘possible carcinogen to humans,’ based on studies with lab rats inhaling the chemical. The European Union has already banned titanium dioxide as a food additive and may extend the ban to pharmaceuticals next year. So, as we owls are want to say, Whooo in the hoot is responsible for allowing an Alabama-based company to drag-mine some 600-acres in our Okefenokee for this stuff?”
“That’s a good question, Howland. It is my contention that Gov. Brian Kemp could shut it down just as former Gov. Zell Miller did some 25 years earlier. But he seems to have been tied up on other matters, like recognizing the birthday of the U.S. Space Force and not returning phone calls from columnists. Even governors have priorities. Yes, Beauregard. You have your paw up?”
“Pogo, as the sleuth of this outfit, I think the governor may be taking the long view. My sources tell me he has political aspirations down the road, either U.S. senator or even perhaps the presidency. To take credit for all Americans having an unlimited supply of toothpaste whitener and for them to be able to dye their cupcakes any color they wish could be a big plus for his campaign. As for the issue of breathing titanium dioxide dust, that’s the lab rats’ problem and they have a history of not voting, anyway.”
“Thank you, Beauregard. That’s very astute. I think Mademoiselle Hephzibah has something she wishes to say, as well.”
“Merci, Monsieur Pogo. As a skunk, albeit a French skunk, I know stink when I smell it and this whole thing stinks. You’ve got the state senate majority leader, Steve Gooch, saying whether or not to allow Twin Pines Minerals to drag-mine our Okefenokee is a regulatory issue, not legislative. That stinks. You’ve got the chair of the House Natural Resources & Environment Committee, Lynn Smith, ignoring the concerns of Georgians and telling them in effect to go pound sand. That really stinks. Sacre Bleu!”
“Well said, mademoiselle. I think it’s time to wrap things up and head back to the swamp I want to thank all the members of the Okefenokee Creatures Association for your participation today. I’m not sure we’ve made much headway in stopping the drag-mining of our beloved swamp but we are in good company. I have a friend who thinks he is a big-deal columnist and who has expounded on this subject for months and he doesn’t seem to be making any headway, either.”
“In conclusion, you have heard me say many times, ‘We have met the enemy and he is us.’ That’s no longer true. We have a new enemy. Twin Pines Minerals and anybody who turns a blind eye to drag-mining our Okefenokee. Don’t forget that. Meeting adjourned.”
You can reach Dick Yarbrough at dick@dickyarbrough.com or at P.O. Box 725373, Atlanta, Georgia 31139
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