I get a lot of mail. Some of it is my fault. Strong opinions begat strong reaction. Humor-impaired wingnuts on both ends of the political spectrum are convinced I am on the end opposite their ideological purity. To them, I am either a “Demo Rat” or a “RITNO” (Republican in Trump’s Name Only.) Actually, I am somewhere in the political middle but I love jerking their chains too much to tell them.
I also get mail from public relations firms offering materials ranging from interviewing authors to webinars, most of which would bore you to tears (“Deferred Retirement Option Programs to Improve Employee Retention”) to surveys of all sorts. They all want their client’s name mentioned so the client will be pleased and will hire them again to try and get their name mentioned again.
Most of these opportunities I ignore unless I feel it would be of relevance to you. I am very discerning that way. As you may recall, it was only in this space that you learned of a study that ranked Atlanta third in the nation for naked gardeners, trailing only Miami and Austin, Texas. I knew that would be a great conversation starter for you at your next church social or cocktail party. The things I do to help you stand out in the crowd.
Recently, a couple of studies came to my inbox that I felt worth sharing, neither of which reference the relationship between bare bottoms and begonias. And, yes, I will give credit to the organization that did the studies. Otherwise, experience has taught me that the PR firms will contact the editor and whine that their client didn’t get their name in the column. Editors have more important things to do than listen to whiny PR people, like making sure I put commas where they belong and that I refrain from talking about bare bottoms and begonias.
One report comes from AdvanceAmerica, a financial firm that surveyed 3,021 real estate professionals ranking cities in the U.S. that give the “best bang for the buck” meaning a quality lifestyle at an affordable cost. Valdosta came in 7th. The survey said in part, “Valdosta combines culture, affordability, and proximity to Florida beaches. Valdosta State University brings life and events to the city. Whether you’re after Southern charm, student energy, or small-city simplicity, Valdosta covers all the bases.”
Close behind was Rome (#21.) According to the experts, “Rome isn’t just in Italy” and notes, “Outdoorsy and artsy, Rome is the kind of place that’s easy to love and hard to leave.” The same survey ranked Thomasville 29th out of 130 cities nationally. (“Thomasville oozes Southern charm with a dash of culinary flair.”)
The other survey, this one by AMFM, a mental health treatment center, asked 3,011 travelers to rank U.S. locations by how often people greet strangers in public. This time, Rome was #7 and described as “the kind of town where everyone knows your name – or learns it fast.” Thomasville was 9th in the survey –”Locals are known for their politeness and genuine interest in others.” – and Valdosta was 23rd nationally: “In Valdosta, you’ll find big-hearted hospitality in every corner of town.”
I am familiar with all three cities and I agree with both surveys, although neither mentioned that a modest but much-beloved columnist who bears a striking resemblance to a young Brad Pitt can be found on the editorial pages in their newspapers each week. Maybe they don’t think that is important. I hope the editors do. I need this job.
I would also posit that most anywhere you go in our great state, you are likely to find a nice place to live and to be surrounded by nice people. From Abbeville to Zebulon, from Dawson to Dawsonville, manners still matter. After all, this is the South, y’all. I might also mention that it doesn’t snow ten months a year here and all of our buildings aren’t rusted like a lot of places I could name, all north of the Mason-You-Know-What Line. That doesn’t hurt.
In the future, I will be on the lookout for any surveys I think would be engaging and enlightening and would make you the envy of your friends and neighbors at the next church social or cocktail party. I’m hoping some PR firm does one on all the modest but much-beloved columnists in the nation who bear a striking resemblance to a young Brad Pitt. If so, you’ll be the first to know.
You can reach Dick Yarbrough at dick@dickyarbrough.com or at P.O. Box 725373, Atlanta, Georgia 31139
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