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Dick Yarbrough

Four-time winner of the Georgia Press Association's Best Humor Column

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Jul. 21, 2008: Georgia At The Epicenter Of The Political World

July 21, 2008 by webmaster Leave a Comment

GEORGIA AT THE EPICENTER OF THE POLITICAL WORLD

Are we Georgians a privileged group or what? Here we sit in the greatest state in the union with its majestic mountains; beautiful beaches; the oldest state-chartered university in the nation located in Athens, the Classic City of the South; sweet Vidalia onions and more barbecue than we can eat. And just when we thought things couldn’t get any better, we are now the epicenter of the political world. Consider this: Two Georgians are running for president of the United States, and two are being considered for vice president. Why has God blessed us so?

Before you write and correct me, I know our two presidential candidates are not native Georgians. Bob Barr, the standard-bearer for the Libertarian Party was born in Iowa, and Cynthia McKinney, the pride and joy of the Green Party, is from somewhere just south of the planet Uranus. But we proudly accept them both. And like most Georgia politicians, they are going to make things interesting.

As reported earlier, Barr has said that one of his first acts as president would be to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act, which defines marriage as a “legal union between one man and one woman,” and which was championed by (you guessed it) the selfsame former Congressman Bob Barr. Once that is accomplished, he then plans to get marijuana declared the nation’s Official Fruit and Vegetable. Let’s see Obama or McCain top that one.

Naturally, when I say stuff like that, Libertarians get mad and write fussy notes. One told me recently that I wasn’t worth the effort of educating to the Libertarian way and that he wouldn’t “waist” his time with me. Libertarians say and do strange things. Maybe it’s the weed.

And then there is my hero, our Ambassador to Outer Space — and former welterweight champion of the U.S. House of Representatives — Cynthia McKinney. The ambassador has assumed the awesome responsibility of representing the Green Party because the Greens decided that even though former presidential candidate Ralph Nader’s mouth moves, he looks like he is dead and very well might be. (One can’t be too careful about these kinds of things in an election year.)

Barr has chosen as his vice presidential running mate one Wayne Allen Root, a sports handicapper from Las Vegas who smiles a lot, something Barr — who looks like he just swallowed a prune — doesn’t do much. Not to be outdone, McKinney then named earthling Rosa Clemente, a hip-hop artist, as her vice presidential candidate. Clemente was immediately endorsed by M1. (Don’t ask.)

Now both Democrat Barack Obama and Republican John McCain have decided that if Georgia can provide the nation with two leading presidential candidates, why not a vice presidential candidates, too? I find it significant that our highly-respected former senior senator, Democrat Sam Nunn, endorsed Sen. Obama early on and has been seen with him at a number of political gatherings. Obama could do a lot worse than picking Nunn as his VP. The man knows more about national defense issues than just about anybody and certainly knows more than Obama, which isn’t saying much.

The eyebrow raiser is that Gov. Sonny Perdue is said to be on John McCain’s short list of vice presidential candidates. Sen. McCain was reportedly blown away by Perdue’s innovative “Go Fish, Georgia” program and the fact that while in office the governor gave an elephant a physical, something not even California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger has been willing to attempt.

As impressive as all of this is, let’s not get our hopes up about having a Georgian in a leadership position in the next administration just yet. Somebody is bound to wake up and remember that Jimmy Carter came from Georgia. That could booger up everything. One President Peanut in Washington is enough for a lifetime.

If we lose out on this go-round, so be it. Georgia will still be the greatest state in the union. We will still have the mountains and the beaches, the oldest state-chartered university in the land, sweet Vidalia onions and lots of good barbecue. Plus the only governor who ever gave an elephant a physical.

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State Sen.Steve Gooch, R-Dahlonega, has announced he is running for lieutenant governor.  Gooch is the guy who said that approving permits to strip-mine the Okefenokee for titanium dioxide to manufacture, among other things, toothpaste whitener is not a legislative matter.  It is up to the bureaucrats to decide. This, despite overwhelming opposition from Georgians across the state.  File that away and remember it when it comes time to vote.  I know I will. … [Read More...] about A long memory

Reader Comments

Yarbrough received over 1,000 email responses last year – both positive and negative. Though most of the emails he receives support his viewpoints, one thing is for sure: Dick Yarbrough’s column speaks to people and they respond. Here is a sampling of email responses Yarbrough has received in the past:

  • Thanks for writing what we all are thinking.
  • I am annoyed by anybody who presumes to know what Georgians think.  And that, sir, includes you.

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