Oops! I left the “t” off Rev. Bryant Wright’s name in last week’s column about the possibility of the Southern Baptist Convention dropping “Southern” from their name. I was just so excited to learn that whatever the organization’s future nomenclature, Rev. Albert Mohler, president of the Southern (sic) Theological Seminary in Louisville, Ky., will continue to favor us with his observations on such critical theological issues as yoga and women preachers. (Al doesn’t approve of either and I don’t approve of Al, but that’s a topic for another day) Several sharp-eyed messengers pointed out my T-boner while helpfully observing that I am a (fill in the blank—a little of it good and some of it not so Christian.) Ironically, I got several of the Bible thumps while in a meeting of Methodist ministers and laity assessing candidates for ordained ministry, including – dare I say it – a number of women. God does have a sense of humor. . . .
Geezer alert! Geezer alert! Three men from Toccoa and one from Cleveland, ages 55 to 73, have been busted by authorities for allegedly plotting domestic terrorism and for not drinking their Metamucil. Government agents raiding the homes of the accused found a cache of weapons, ingredients for a deadly toxin, and explosive materials among other things. They were also secretly-recorded yakking of their nefarious plans with an FBI informant. An attorney for one of the accused says they were “just grumpy old men talking.” That kind of lawyer-talk scares me worse than the rickety Rambos. . . .
While these old men aren’t doing much to bring honor to my generation, Charlie Timberlake gives me great hope for the next one. I have followed Charlie’s progress from a pre-teen to a recent graduate of Auburn University. Before young Timberlake embarks on his professional career –whatever he does, he will be a success. He is a high-achiever – he chose this summer to walk the 2,000-mile Appalachian Trail from one end (Georgia) to the other (Maine) with fellow Eagle Scout, Randy Wright, of Lakemont, raising lots of money for Cam Street, a young man who died in 2009 of cancer before he could achieve his dream of becoming an Eagle Scout himself. (He was given the honor just prior to his death.) If you want to know more about their trip and give these guys some support, go to www.hikeforcam.org. Applause to them both. . . .
Gov. Nathan Deal has once again overlooked my immense talents when making his governmental appointments. Seven former legislators have recently been appointed to high posts in the Deal administration. Why legislators? One observer told the Atlanta Newspapers that it helps to have had the experience of serving in the Legislature to understand the inner workings of government. I already understand the inner workings of government: Free “working trips” to Germany, eating off lizard-loafered lobbyists, never paying to see a ballgame and furloughing school teachers. I guess I’ll stick to being a modest and much-beloved columnist where my inner working consists of gigging the humor-deprived. . . .
It didn’t get a lot of notice around the state but the College of Coastal Georgia in Brunswick just turned 50. It started out as Brunswick College, a small two-year school. Today, enrollment is up to 3,500 students, an increase of about 40 percent over the past couple of years. There are new building and dorms galore, plus a variety of bachelor degrees available, athletic teams to cheer and it’s not far from the ocean. (Much credit for the school’s meteoric rise goes to Dr. Valerie Hepburn, CCGA president. The locals had better build a moat around the school before some other institution tries to steal her away. . . .
And finally, if is with much sadness I announce that Sheila the Family Wonderdog is now in doggie heaven chasing squirrels across the cosmos after a long and blessed life on this earth. (There is no squirrel heaven. Squirrels haven’t done anything to deserve their own heaven.) Actually, Sheila was my grand dog. She was officially a part of my son’s family but in truth Sheila belonged to the whole family and was loved by all. She was of unknown genealogy but that didn’t matter. She was smarter by light years than all the yappy froufrou dogs that would bark at a stump. Sheila the Family Wonderdog left this a better place by being here. I will miss her. We all will.
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