2003 Columns

Shirley MacLaine, the actress whose elevator doesn’t quite reach the top floor, has written a book in which she claims she talks to her dog, a rat terrier named Terry. According to MacLaine, she and Terry communicate in “Humanimal,” which she says is a “purer, more direct form of language” than English. Hopefully, she makes more sense to Terry than she does to the rest of … [Read more...] about Nov. 23, 2003: Conversations With Sheila About Shirley

Rap! Rap! Rap! “I declare this session of the U.S. Senate open for business. We will dispense with the Morning Prayer because the ACLU has told us that praying in a government building is clearly a violation of church and state. The chair recognizes the gentleman from Georgia, Zell Miller.” “Mr. President, we aren’t praying because all you liberal turnip brains up north are … [Read more...] about Nov. 16, 2003: Why Zell Miller Doesn’t Want to be Senator Anymore

I’m not sure about the criteria for becoming a member of the Board of Regents, but I suspect, like most state appointments, it isn’t what you know, but who you know. Who the Regents don’t know, obviously, is anyone with a modicum of political skill. They have handled the brouhaha at the University of Georgia with all the finesse of Attila the Hun and have only succeeded in … [Read more...] about Nov. 9, 2003: Board of Regents Needs to Dismount Their High Horse

Zell Miller is mad as a wet hornet at Democrats. Our irascible senior senator has a new book out entitled “A National Party No More: The Conscience of a Conservative Democrat.” In it, he lambastes the national Democrats for ignoring the South. Miller says that “Once upon a time, the most successful Democratic leader of them all, FDR, looked south and said, ‘I see one third of a … [Read more...] about Nov. 2, 2003: Democrats’ Southern Strategy: Pickups and Possums

You may have read recently that Les Brownlee, Secretary of the Army, says he is going to improve conditions for members of the National Guard and the Army Reservists at Ft. Stewart who are living in barracks without indoor toilets and who are receiving inadequate medical care. When Mr. Secretary gets that little matter under control, he might want to wing his way to Iraq and … [Read more...] about Oct. 26, 2003: Second Class Treatment for First Class People