11/22/2017

Nov. 1, 2004: Random Thoughts on Random Subjects

HEAR FROM THE REST, THEN HEAR FROM THE BEST. Yes, I am going to comment on the elections – next week. Let all the political pundits make their educated guesses as to what happened and why, then yours truly will swoop in and give you the unvarnished and unalterable facts. I receive no extra remuneration for providing you this personalized treatment. I do it because I want you to be the smartest and best-informed readers on the planet. I get giddy thinking about you lording it over those pseudo-elitists who read the New York Times and the Washington Post. . . .

KING WAS A PRINCE. I enjoy yanking the chain of my Georgia Tech friends because many of them have the sense of humor of a slide rule. But not today. I grieve with them over the loss of a good friend, Kim King, the outstanding Tech quarterback, long-time broadcaster and hugely successful businessman. He was a class act. I am still trying to figure out why God takes a good man like Kim King in the prime of his productive life when there are so many despicable jerks available who contribute nothing positive to society. . . .

IF YOU CAN’T BEAT ‘EM, ACT LIKE ‘EM. After years of criticizing SUVs and those who drive them, I am now the not-so-proud owner of an SUV myself. I learned quickly that getting up and down the mountains of Big Canoe is infinitely safer in a four-wheel drive vehicle. I may have purchased a lemon, however, because my SUV has turn signals. I eagerly await delivery of my SUV operator’s manual so that I can learn how to drive at the speed of sound and talk on the cell phone while tailgating the car in front of me and looking like a self-important yuppie-boomer. . . .

NO NEWS IS NO NEWS. I have not heard from radio talkmaster Neal Boortz or grandson Zachary Wansley over my recent suggestion that the two of them debate the issue of our “pitiful government schools.” That’s no surprise. Boortz has been involved in the presidential elections and Zack has been running cross-country and studying Advance Placement Economics. I am surprised that some school hasn’t come forward and offered to host the debate. Surely, they are not letting Boortz intimidate them. . . .

I FEEL STRONGLY BOTH WAYS. Neely Young, editor and publisher of Georgia Trend magazine, recently excoriated Governor Sonny Perdue, saying the governor has accomplished next to nothing in his first two years in office. Matt Towery, chairman of InsiderAdvantage, the Atlanta-based government affairs and media company and a former state legislator, strongly disagrees with Young’s assessment. Towery says Perdue likes to work behind the scenes and that the governor’s quiet style has been highly effective. Somewhere in all of this analysis may be the reason why the governor’s office hasn’t sent me the photograph they promised eight months ago. . . .

GAD-ZOOK! I was delighted to see the University of Georgia defeat the Florida Gators in non-neutral Jacksonville. It has been a long drought for Bulldog fans. However, I hated to see it happen to Florida football coach Ron Zook. The man has handled his firing with a lot more class than most of the Gator crowd that has been calling for his head. Of course, these are the same people who cheered loudly when Zook’s predecessor, Steve Spurrier, ran up the score on opponents with the final outcome no longer in doubt, so they don’t know a lot about class to begin with. . . .

AND FINALLY, A PUBLIC SERVICE MESSAGE TO GEORGIA SHRIMP. I have not been to the Georgia coast since I discovered Big Canoe, but I am headed that way. If you are a shrimp, you had best get your fanny as far out to sea as possible while there is still time. My first stop will be at the exquisite little Georgia Sea Grill on St. Simons Island and that means if you are in the vicinity, you are going to find yourself corn-fried and devoured. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.