05/29/2017

Dec. 27, 2004: I Can See That It’s Going To Be An Interesting Year

I don’t know about you, but I am ready for 2004 to slip-slide right on out the door. Any year in which Ray Charles and Ronald Reagan die, but Osama bin Laden doesn’t, has outlived its usefulness as far as I am concerned. It is time to move on. As grumpy as 2004 was, is […]

Dec. 20, 2004: Zell’s TV Gig May Take A Little Interpretation

As you may have heard, Zell Miller has signed on as a Fox News Network commentator. After approving the agreement, Fox executives realized that there are still a few people — mostly in Vermont and Southern California — who don’t speak Southern. Suffice it to say that they wouldn’t have the foggiest idea what our […]

Dec. 13, 2004: How To Write A Column Without Exhaling

The Woman Who Shares My Name told me she does not want to see one of my usual bomb-throwing columns this week. “It is the Christmas season. I don’t want you criticizing anybody or anything,” she ordered. Having been blessed with exceptional negotiating skills, I immediately went for the middle ground. “Good suggestion,” I said, […]

Dec. 6, 2004: To Public Education Supporters: Stand Up or Shut Up

Anyone who has casually perused this space knows I am a strong advocate of public education. I am a product of public schools. I have a son and a son-in-law who teach high school science in public schools and four beloved grandsons who attend public schools. All by choice. Both teachers could make a lot […]

Nov. 29, 2004: A Letter To Santa Clause From a Very Good Boy

Dear Santa: I wanted to get my letter to you early because it is a known fact that you deal with all the good little boys and girls first and, as usual, I have been gooder than gold. Therefore, I appreciate your putting my requests at the front of the line. Should you hear anything […]

Nov. 22, 2004: A Visit to the USO Shows the Very Best of America

I have seen the very best of America, and it is not Martin Sheen or Michael Moore. Rather, it is the salesman from Akron, Ohio, with a three-year-old daughter he has held too seldom since her birth. It is the grocery clerk from Fredericksburg, Maryland. It is the student studying heating and air conditioning in […]

Nov. 15, 2004: An Exclusive Look Inside a Democratic Party Strategy Session

I appreciate everyone coming today as we try to figure out how the Democratic Party blew the presidential election and to see what we can do to turn things around. Clearly, the American public doesn’t have a clue what they have done. They are a bunch of ignorant morons who don’t know what is best […]

Nov. 8, 2004: Some Unvarnished Truths About the Recent Elections

Here is a prediction you can take to the bank: For the next four years, the national news media is going to obsess on America’s “cultural divide.” In their opinion, that is why George W. Bush won re-election and why Democrats are out of power. In my opinion, they don’t know what they are talking […]

Nov. 1, 2004: Random Thoughts on Random Subjects

HEAR FROM THE REST, THEN HEAR FROM THE BEST. Yes, I am going to comment on the elections – next week. Let all the political pundits make their educated guesses as to what happened and why, then yours truly will swoop in and give you the unvarnished and unalterable facts. I receive no extra remuneration […]

Oct. 25, 2004: An In-Depth Analysis of the 2004 Presidential Election

Being a political genius is no walk in the park. Most of you have free time to organize your sock drawer or to watch Dan Rather make an ass of himself, but not me. I am constantly besieged for my insights on the political scene, particularly the upcoming presidential election. Granted, this is a critical […]

Oct. 18, 2004: Announcing the Fourth Annual Pfft! Awards!

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen to the fourth annual Pfft! Awards! For those of you who may be newcomers to this space, the Pffts! were created in 2001 by your intrepid correspondent to honor those individuals and organizations who by word and deed have earned a well-placed Pfft! This is one award ceremony in which the […]

Oct. 11, 2004: Boortz Says Government Schools Are Pitiful. I Say That’s Debatable.

After watching the vacuous babble that passes for presidential debates, I am ready for a head-knocking, rip-snorting debate between two articulate participants with widely divergent views. How about Neal Boortz and Zachary Wansley? Boortz is the popular nationally syndicated radio “Talkmaster.” I have known him since he was a talk radio rookie in Atlanta, and […]

Oct. 4, 2004: Florida Doesn’t Need Carter’s Political Meddling

It was a classless thing to do, even by Jimmy Carter’s standards. As the people of Florida dug out from under the quadruple whammy of deadly hurricanes, President Gooberhead graced us with the latest in a string of unwanted, unneeded and unsolicited opinions. This time he wanted you to know that he is concerned about […]

Sep. 27, 2004: Good People Doing Good Things. Another Reason to be Proud of the U.S.

It never fails. Mention some of the wonderful qualities of the United States — something I don’t do enough by the way — and a bunch of “yes, but” whiners pop up like warts on a hog. Say that we are the richest, most powerful nation on earth and “yes, but” contrarians complain that is […]

Sep. 20, 2004: Some Cogent Comments About My Column on Georgia

Sometimes, I don’t understand the column-writing business. I can present a serious treatise about the impact of the International Monetary Fund on the price of cupcakes, or carefully analyze the three lucid thoughts our Ambassador to Outer Space Cynthia McKinney has had in her lifetime and I’ll get nary a peep from you. But let […]

Sep. 13, 2004: A One-on-One Conversation With Delta’s CEO

A ONE-ON-ONE CONVERSATION WITH DELTA’S CEO Knock! Knock! Knock! “Come in, young man.” “Mr. Grinstein, my name is Rigby and I think you wanted to see me?” “Yes, I did, Rigby. I believe you are in Shipping and Receiving. I wanted to ask you how the Delta employees reacted to my speech last week about […]

Sep. 6, 2004: Georgia Motorists Need To Slow Down

What will it take to get you to slow down on Georgia’s highways? Try this. Stop what you are doing for a second and look at someone you love. It could be your spouse, your significant other, your child, a parent or your best friend. Now, imagine that person has just learned that you have […]

Aug. 30, 2004: If This Isn’t Heaven, It Must Be The North Georgia Mountains

If heaven is prettier than the North Georgia mountains, I promise to change my sorry ways and to be a lot nicer in the future. Otherwise, I am going to ask God that if it is all the same with Him, would it be okay for me to just hang out somewhere in the vicinity […]

Aug. 23, 2004: An Endorsement From Gov. Sonny Perdue? Thanks, But No Thanks.

Thank you for being here today. I am Gov. Sonny Perdue, and I have an important announcement to make that I believe will dramatically change the political landscape of our state for years to come. I am pledging the awesome power of the governor’s office, as well as my own personal prestige, to see that […]

Aug. 9, 2004: The Battle Between Good and Evil is All in My Mind

“Attention readers: Given a spate of comments in this space recently that I found to be rude and insensitive, I wanted to inform you that I have ordered Richard to visit the exquisite little Georgia Sea Grill on St. Simons Island and consume massive quantities of corn-fried shrimp. It is my fervent hope that a […]

Aug. 16, 2004: More Unsolicited Advice for UGA President Michael Adams

Dear Mike: For several years, I have suggested that you would be well served to accept some sage advice from yours truly and that doing so might extricate you from the controversies that seem to swirl around you like fruit flies in a peach orchard. Because I received no response, I can only assume that […]

Aug. 2, 2004: Has John Kerry Already Written Off Georgia?

According to political pundits who get paid big bucks to know this stuff, the Kerry-Edwards team has pretty much written off the state of Georgia as they begin their campaign for the White House. One political writer put it this way, “There’s not a snowball’s chance that the Democrats are going to give much time […]

Jul. 26, 2004: What Time Is It? It’s Time For Answer Man

Okay, boys and girls, it is time once again for Answer Man, that much-requested feature in which yours truly answers questions from his adoring fans. Let’s go right to the mailbox. Dear Answer Man: How did a pea-headed birdbrain like you ever get to write a column? You have the intellectual capacity of a screwdriver. […]

Jul. 19, 2004: Protest Warriors Take on Left-Wing Loonies

Here is some news to light your fire. A group of young people calling themselves Protest Warriors are going to protest the protestors at the upcoming Republican convention in New York City. They claim the left-wing loonies have hogged center stage for too long and the Protest Warriors intend to beat them at their own […]

Jul. 12, 2004: A Letter To Sen. Miller: Give ‘Em Hell, Zell

Dear Senator Miller: As you wind down an illustrious political career that spans almost a half-century, I want you to know how much I appreciate all the great things you have done for Georgia. In this day of sound bites and polling data and political consultants, you tell it like it is. Good for you. […]

Jul. 5, 2004: Random Thoughts on Random Subjects

The primaries are upon us. Some interesting questions to ponder: Will Ambassador to Outer Space Cynthia McKinney alight on earth long enough to win the Democratic primary in the 4th Congressional district? Can former House Judiciary Chairman Tom Bordeaux, (D-Savannah), a staunch opponent of tort reform win reelection? Does anybody besides doctors, lawyers and insurance […]

Jun. 27, 2004: Explaining The State of Affairs at UGA To My Friends at Georgia Tech

Ever wondered how many Georgia Tech fans are walking the earth? I would estimate 900 million, because that is how many have asked me when was I going to write a column explaining to them the civil war at the University of Georgia. Call me cynical, but something tells me Tech folks are less interested […]

Jun. 20, 2004: A Salute To A Bunch of Live Democrats

A member of the Loyal Opposition — meaning those who don’t agree with anything I say, which includes about half of the inhabited earth — confided to a friend that, “the only Democrats Dick Yarbrough likes are dead Democrats.” Not true. There are a lot of live Democrats I like. Take Zell Miller, for example. […]

Jun. 13, 2004: Reviewing the Impact of the G-8 Summit Protests

Rap! Rap! Rap! “Ladies and gentleman and those of you somewhere in between, I call to order this meeting of the Committee for Rebellion, Unrest and Destruction, or CRUD, to review the impact of our highly anticipated protests during the recent G-8 Summit and to see if there is any room for improvement going forward. […]

Jun. 6, 2004: George W. Bush Needs to Follow Reagan’s Example

Ronald Reagan made me proud to be an American. He truly believed in the greatness of America, and he convinced the rest of us to feel the same way. God only knows where this country would be today had we not had the good sense to elect him president in 1980. President Jimmy Carter made […]

May 30, 2004: Attention Motorists: The Heat is On

You probably have already heard the news, but you need to hear it again: The HEAT is on. From now through September 12, more that 500 law enforcement agencies in the state are going to show zero — as in “none,” “nada,” ”zilch” — tolerance to the reckless drivers who have made Georgia’s highways so […]

May 23, 2004: Georgia On Your Mind? Try the Internet Encyclopedia

The rich just keep getting richer. As if Georgia wasn’t already the greatest place on God’s Green Earth, now we have our own online encyclopedia to prove it. The New Georgia Encyclopedia (www.georgiaencyclopedia.org) is the first state encyclopedia designed exclusively for the Internet. Not only does it contain all sorts of interesting information about our […]

May 16, 2004: At Last! Enjoy Some Good News For a Change

I don’t know about you, but I am tired of hearing bad news. I am weary of all the blathering on radio talk shows, smug comments by know-it-all television commentators and photographs of innocent Americans being beheaded by cowardly lowlifes in Iraq. Thus, this week I will focus only on good news in the hopes […]

May 9, 2004: An Inside Look at G-8 Summit Protest Planning

Rap! Rap! Rap! “This session of the G-8 Summit protest planners will come to order. Welcome to our special steering committee, the Committee for Rebellion, Unrest and Destruction, or CRUD. Remember, ladies and gentlemen and those of you somewhere in between, we want to be ready to shine when the world leaders come to Sea […]

May 2, 2004: To My Grandsons: Never Forget Our Heroes

To Zachary and Nicholas Wansley; Brian and Thomas Yarbrough: I have been sharing some thoughts with you at the beginning of each year in the hope that some of my reflections might prove helpful as you grow to adulthood. I will continue to do so as long as I have something meaningful to say, and […]

Apr. 25, 2004: Why Is Everybody So Fussy These Days?

Maybe it’s the phase of the moon or maybe some star is out of whack in the cosmos, but I sure am getting fussed at these days. Even my good deeds don’t go unpunished. I thought I was being extremely magnanimous when I said recently that Georgia Tech had a great basketball season and has […]

Apr. 18, 2004: We The People Say Enough is Enough is Enough

It is a new day in our country, and it has been a long time coming. We the People have spoken and we have said, “Enough is enough is enough.” Neither The New York Times nor the television networks nor all the glitterati in Hollywood can get us back in our cocoon. Let them think […]

Apr. 11, 2004: Frustrated Flaggers Tell Their Side of the Story

After enduring a steady barrage of slings and arrows from this correspondent, flaggers did a wise thing. Kenneth Waters, an advocate for the pre-2001 state flag, asked for the opportunity to tell their side of the story. He put together a lunch with Dan Coleman, spokesman for the Sons of Confederate Veterans, and William Lathem, […]

Apr. 4, 2004: Some Random Thoughts on Some Random Subjects

To my friends at Georgia Tech: Don’t despair. Your basketball team had a great run and your coach is a class individual. Anyway, The state of Georgia already has a national basketball champion. Kennesaw State University won the NCAA Division II title a couple of weeks ago. Let Connecticut have one. No sense in our […]

Mar. 28, 2004: Making Sure That G-8 Leaders Have Georgia on Their Minds

Are you watching the calendar? In two months the G-8 Summit is coming to Sea Island. In case you had forgotten, the G-8 is a gathering of the leaders of the world’s eight major industrial democracies. Actually, there are only seven major industrial democracies, but they had to invite France. If they didn’t, the French […]

Mar. 21, 2004: Fond Remembrances of St. Patrick’s Day in Savannah

One of the most enjoyable parts of this job is the opportunity to go around the state and talk to various groups and organizations. Less pleasant is trying to get there without being run over by self-important yuppie-boomers in their gas-guzzling SUVs. Maybe that’s the reason I don’t do it more often. Recently, I was […]

Mar. 14, 2004: UGA Infamous Exam Raises a Few More Questions

Just when it looked as though things couldn’t get worse at my alma mater, the University of Georgia — the oldest state-chartered university in the nation, located in Athens, the Classic City of the South — they got worse. For starters, we have President Michael Adams and Athletic Director Vince Dooley and their supporters engaged […]

Mar. 7, 2004: Hey, Flaggers! What About the Other 98.5 Percent of Georgia’s History?

Before I launch into my diatribe, a few facts: I was born in Georgia, as were my parents and grandparents and all but one of my great grandparents. Two of my ancestors fought for the South in the War Between the States. There may have been others, but I don’t know. In my family, looking […]

Feb. 29, 2004: You Heard It Here First: Ralph Nader is Ready to Rumble

It is a great honor for me that our newest presidential candidate, Ralph Nader, has graciously agreed to sit for an exclusive interview. DY: Mr. Nader, thank you for your time. I know that you have a lot of catching up to do if you are to overtake President Bush and his Democratic challenger, who […]

Feb. 22, 2004: Kahn Column Has David in a Dither

My recent musings about the gentlemanly Larry Walker (D-Perry) retiring from the Legislature and the return of the slash-and-burn politics of new State Democratic Party Chairman Bobby Kahn would have been confined to one column, but a public rebuke from David Worley, former Democratic state chairman and perennial also-ran for public office, necessitates further comment. […]

Feb. 15, 2004: How to Teach Creation in Georgia’s Schools

In the beginning, God created earth. He stepped back and looked at what he had done and said, “I think I can do better than this,” so he created heaven. When he finished, God said, “That’s more like it. I am going to call it ‘Georgia,’ and just to make sure nobody forgets where heaven […]

Feb. 8, 2004: Georgia’s Political Landscape Changes: Walker Leaves, Kahn Returns and So Does John Rocker

If you like your politics raw and partisan, you will be happy to know that Bobby Kahn is back in the saddle, locked and loaded. If you prefer civility in the political process, the fact that longtime state Rep. Larry Walker (D-Perry) is retiring after 32 years in the General Assembly — 16 as House […]

Feb. 1, 2004: At the Beginning God Created Some Wacky Politicians

One of the questions frequently asked of your intrepid correspondent is, “Where do you find material for your columns?” My standard reply is that as long as one politician is drawing a breath, I will have more subjects to write about than I will have the space to write. I love politicians. That is why […]

Jan. 25, 2004: God To Speeders in McIntosh County: You Are On Your Own

Here is some free advice you may find useful. If you (a) believe in God, (b) have a tendency to ignore posted speed limits and (c) get stopped for speeding in McIntosh County by Lt. Kenny Williams, don’t bother praying for a miracle — like talking your way out of a ticket. It won’t happen. […]

Jan. 18, 2004: Random Thoughts on Some Random Subjects

Do Democrats seriously think that if Howard Dean is their nominee, he will win a majority of the Southern states and be elected president? Do they think a majority of Southerners will support a candidate who favors same-sex marriages, who doesn’t think the world is safer because Saddam Hussein has been captured and who shoots […]

Jan. 11, 2004: Some Serious Proposals for the Legislature

Attention! The Georgia Legislature is now in session. In case you have forgotten, you have elected these folks to go to Atlanta and give you more government than you want or need. You may get a little break this session, however. This is the year all members of the Legislature have to stand for re-election, […]

Jan. 4, 2004: No Predictions in 2004, Only Slam Dunks

I don’t make predictions anymore. I learned the hard way that while readers never remember anyone else’s predictions, they never forget mine. A couple of years ago, when I was feeling wiser than an owl, I said Democratic Gov. Roy Barnes would easily win re-election. Sonny Perdue, Barnes’ opponent, was a Democrat-turned-Republican and the author […]