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SOME UNSOLICITED ADVICE TO OUR NEW GOVERNOR
Dear
Governor Perdue: You may not remember me, but along with the state’s
movers and shakers we used to eat lunch together at the President’s house
in Athens before University of Georgia football games. That was back in
the days when I was a very important person and you were just another
Democratic state senator. Now look at us. Here you are, the new
Republican governor of Georgia, and I am now a lowly scribe trying to
scratch out a few relevant thoughts each week. Who would have guessed?
I used
to write your predecessor, Roy Barnes, and give him the benefit of my
wisdom and experience in the political arena. He never responded because
I think he opted to listen to his crack staff instead. Thanks to them, he
is now employed full-time by the Legal Aid Society and you are the
governor. I don’t expect you will have time to reply either. You’ve got
your hands full dealing with a bunch of suck-up business tycoons and
corporate lobbyists who are falling all over themselves to give you money
now that you are in charge. Since you were elected without their help,
I’d tell them to take their money and put it where the sun never shines.
But that is not the way politics works. When you run for reelection in
four years, you’ll want a lot of money to scare off any potential
opposition. Just remember, that tactic didn’t work in the last election
and it might not work next time, either.
I know
reelection is not uppermost on your mind right now, but the “Fergit Hell”
crowd is already making ominous noises that if you don’t hold a referendum
on the state flag pretty soon, you will be a one-term governor. My advice
would be that you go ahead and let us vote and be through with it. I’ll
bet most folks would favor the pre-1956 flag anyway, if they are given
that option. With the flag issue out of the way, maybe the Confederates
will declare war on North Dakota or Idaho and let the rest of us move on
with our lives.
I have
a couple of public school teachers in my family, and I tried to tell your
predecessor that picking on teachers wasn’t a smart thing to do, even if
you were trying to improve public education. But the same crack staff
that flushed $20 million down a rat hole trying to get your predecessor
reelected also advised him to say he was going to “get rid of bad
teachers.” Teachers took it personally, and they told a lot of parents
who also took it personally. I suggest that if you want to do something
good for public education while you are governor, start by being nice to
teachers and letting them know you appreciate the fact that they have a
tough job.
Everything I read says that Georgia is having a hard time financially and
that you are going to have to make some tough choices about the state
budget. Here’s an idea. We taxpayers fund something called a pork
barrel. Legislators dip into it to build swimming pools and softball
fields for local constituents so that those same legislators can get
reelected and not have to go to work. The pork barrel is always full of
money. Why don’t you tell the Legislature to use those tax dollars to
hire some more state patrol officers? The officers would pay for
themselves in no time with the fines they would collect from the maniacs
currently roaring unimpeded up and down our highways. While swimming
pools and softball fields are nice, I believe taxpayers would prefer being
able to drive around our state without fear of being run over by some
18-wheeler or SUV.
Because you are the first Republican governor in Georgia since 1872, I
suspect the Democrats will work overtime to make things rough for you. I
believe you are up to the challenge, and I am confident that you are going
to do well. All the best to you, Governor, and remember – be real
careful about taking too much advice from your crack staff. They don’t
have to run for reelection. You do.
Your
friend,
Dick
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